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10 Tips for Raising a Positive, Happy Child

By Christel M. Hoydic March 4, 2015

Being a parent comes with its share of tantrums and triumphs. It also comes with its share of advice and personal discovery. Through trial and error, books and education and my support team, I have found these 10 things most important when it comes to our day to day efforts to raise positive, healthy children.

1. No more nos! Avoid simply stating "NO" when reprimanding your child. Instead, always follow up with a reason. This is an opportunity for your child to better understand expectations and to better adapt to them in future situations. 

2 Say I LOVE YOU! Say it often, say it the moment you think it! Feeling loved and appreciated at any age feels good but it's even more important for our little ones' emotional growth.

3. Take time to praise! Praise in the moment, after the moment, at dinner recap, and at bedtime! Kids often don't hear enough about the things that they are doing right. Boost your child's self esteem, increase the instances in which those positive behaviors will occur and decrease the negative!

4. "Because I said so" STINKS! Yup I said it. Erase it. Stop yourself from saying it and never repeat that phrase again. What are you teaching your children?  Why are you asking them to do something?  Because....... 

5. Pre-teach! I have found that the best trips the store, the most enjoyable restaurant visits, and the best family outings all followed pre-teaching. Simply prepare your child for what's to come. Fill them in on where you are going, what you are doing, and what you expect of them. Discuss problems that may occur and can be done to fix them. This can be done in the car, at the table, in writing or using pictures.

6. Focus on the good! Sometimes it is ok to ignore some minor difficulties when there are positives that deserve praising. Focusing on the good and providing your child with positive reinforcement will help to ensure those behaviors occur more often and the ones that were ignored (Believe me. They get it.) will decrease!

7. Put down the technology! I will be the first to admit I am addicted to my phone. I can't put it down. But I know it is important to. My son notices. I notice. BE PRESENT. Establish "technology free times" during meals, play time and bedtime routines. Lead by example. Enjoy the moments and be attentive. 

8. The car is the perfect place! To talk, learn and discuss. During our drives around town we barely ever have the radio on. Instead we are playing games, learning, talking, and connecting. The car is the perfect place for this at any age as you have their full attention with very minimal distractions. And they can't leave! :)

9. Tears are okay! Acknowledge your child's feelings, label them, express your interest and care. There is a reason for their tears and it's our job as parents to discover what it is and how to help them cope.

10. Be Silly! Leave the rules behind. Turn off the TV. Don't worry about the schedule and just be a kid again with your kid! Priceless moments = Happy Memories and great bonds!